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That’s 1 for you and 2 for me! Unlike sports, we don’t always have to keep score with the things we do for others. Have you heard this line before? “Hey, I helped you, and you owe me!” It’s tough to keep track and know if it is even or balanced, but does it have to be? In the world of life and business, many of us do other things for other people, all the time, but we don’t necessarily expect anything in return, or do we? In past articles I referred to the LRT concept. (Like, Respect and Trust) This becomes a guiding principle for me in terms of how I support other people. This does not suggest that you need to know someone for a long period of time before you help them, in fact, quite the opposite. If more people made the first move to help or assist someone else without expecting anything in return, life would be pretty great, more times than not. It is not about payback or about you scratching my back and I will scratch yours! 
The theory of, “the more you give…the more you get” is very true….in most cases. If we go on the sports analogy for a moment, let’s always play with the assumption that we end in a tie, even though that may not always be possible. “Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always make you less than you are.” -Malcolm Forbes Think about this! If we consume our time and thoughts figuring out who owes us something, or their need to return the favour, you may always feel disappointed and short changed. It has happened to me on many occasions, when I assist someone for no specific reason. They ask me, why would you want to help me? What’s your agenda? My response may look like this, “well to be honest with you I get a lot of satisfaction out of helping others and making a difference. I have no agenda, but I do have purpose. The purpose is to build Trust and Respect by helping you.” I am a fan of Dr. Stephen Covey’s work…..specifically, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Habit #4, is titled, “Think Win-Win. I like the concept behind this, and if we apply it to the “Don’t keep score” philosophy, it can mean a few things. First of all, if someone in our world wins…….we win. Well, that is not always true, if you are looking for instant gratification. What’s key here, is that while you did not win immediately, you didn’t lose either. You helped someone out and feel great because of it. They potentially had more immediate benefit than you…..No big deal, right?? As I see it, if you conduct yourself like this on a regular and ongoing basis it will usually balance out……but remember, you are not keeping score anyway! It’s about reciprocity (A reciprocal condition or relationship)….paying it forward. That is what a great relationship is all about. Be it business or personal. If I helped you more today, I do not expect that you will help me more tomorrow. If I did, I would not get the same joy or satisfaction in helping you. I do realize that some people don’t think that way. The more this type of “play”, or “conduct” occurs, I think that both parties will ultimately lose. If you keep score and feel that over a period of time you are living with a huge “give more than you get deficit”, you may simply quit the game……..this may not serve anyone’s best interest. A great read to validate this message, comes from author Keith Ferrazzi, “Never eat Alone” Ferrazzi discovered early in life, what distinguishes highly successful people from everyone else is the way they use the power of relationships--so that everyone wins. He comments about the thought, “Don’t keep score.” Are you hungry to help someone today? Make the first move and remember, don’t keep score!
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I have noticed something… it seems to me the people with the most success and have balance and joy in lives are those who are the biggest givers. Hmm