The Myth of the Lone Wolf

Written by Nicki Weiss

The lone wolf is a myth. No wolf can survive for long in the wild apart from its pack.

And neither can the human lone wolf: the salesperson or business owner who attempts to operate without help or backup. You’ve met them (or maybe, sigh, you are one). They’re the ones who hoard information, exclude others from conversations, don’t ask for advice and don’t even try to work collaboratively.

Know this fact: If you operate as a lone wolf, you are vulnerable.

And, more often than not, you will only achieve mediocre results.

Occasionally, with inordinate effort and great luck, you can achieve a spike of success. However, these victories are usually illusory and short-lived. Being a lone wolf can keep you from developing a robust network that can help you in the down times. You can’t benefit from the influence of others’ energy and creativity. And you certainly can’t form strategic partnerships.

What would be better?

In order to achieve any goal of enduring value -- growing a business, building a structure, publishing a book, or raising a child -- you need to enlist the cooperation of others.

You need to belong to a tribe.

It’s a fact of life: birds flock, fish school, people “tribe”.

These tribes take a number of forms, such as family, colleagues, professional organizations, vendors, customers, a religious group, or any group that shares your core values. You may belong to several tribes. If you don’t belong to any tribes that fall in the “business” category, you simply can’t achieve your business goals.

My Journey Towards ‘Tribing’

I’m learning. I’ve always belonged to personal tribes but when I worked for others as a rep, I thought it was my job to work on my own. Wasn’t I hired because I was self-motivated and capable?

Tribal interaction wasn’t encouraged. I felt alone, confused, and insecure.

Whenever I asked for help (which wasn’t often because I interpreted it as a sign of weakness), things went amazingly well. But because I thought of myself as a lone wolf, I didn’t read the obvious lesson: “Intentionally Collaborate.”

Fast forward to my life as a small business owner. Once again, I continued to operate as a lone wolf. Sure, I had a bookkeeper and website designer, but I wasn’t really part of a tribe. My business was struggling, which was really a metaphor for me struggling.

The Epiphany

One day in the shower it dawned on me: I can work differently. When I do everything myself, my business life is hard and unrewarding. In other parts of my life, belonging to tribes make my daily interactions interesting, easier and fun. Those tribes range from my family, book club, synagogue, and neighbourhood to volunteer work and the summer cottage community.

How to Unstick Yourself from Lone Wolfishness

My epiphany happened a few years ago, and it feels like my transformation from business lone ranger to tribal member has taken a long time. (It doesn’t need to take YOU a long time.)

I now have a partner and other colleagues for all the team coaching work we do, and these partners bring their tribes and connections. I have great support staff and two coaches (that may seem excessive, but hey, what the heck, it works). I belong to Business Networking International (BNI), am connected to a large tribe of coaches and trainers, and my mastermind group is invaluable. The other important tribes I collaborate with are my alliance partners and clients.

I have stopped measuring success on an “I” basis, gradually shifting my perspective to “we”. I continue to apply one question to each challenge or new situation: “Who else would be cool to include in the conversation and how can we all benefit from our association?”

Work in Triads

Involve at least three people when you try to generate ideas, sort out problems or make a decision. You will notice that ideas come faster and your network expands more quickly as each person thinks of others to include. And you will feel less pressure because you don’t have to carry the entire responsibility for the conversation.

Recognize Your Ideal Tribe Mates

Outside of work, you are already part of naturally occurring tribes. They’re the people with whom you share values and interests. At work, intentionally build your tribes, one person at a time, using the same criteria: your shared values and interests.

Step One of course is being clear on your personal values so you can decide who you want to include in your tribe, and who you want to avoid. For example, Joanne (my partner in team-coaching work), and I recently identified our core values: Collaboration, Energy, Persistence, Irreverence, Ease, and Synchronicity.

Then we looked at who we consider our ideal customers. Guess what, the customers we enjoy have very similar values. We also looked at the customers who we find difficult, and, no surprise, they don’t share our core values.

For help in identifying your core values, think about a peak moment in your life (you’ve had lots). Think about what made it peak – where you were, who you were with, what you were doing, etc. Then mine the experience for the values that got honoured.

This exercise will help you quickly spot your ideal customers, vendors and colleagues.

State Your Intention To Stop Working Like A Lone Wolf

If you are a solopreneur, tell people you want to start collaborating more. Tell them that you’re building your tribe, and ask if they know like-minded people you could meet.

If you are part of a sales team comprised of lone wolves, start talking about what would be possible if you started working more like a tribe and built on each others’ strengths. Let your customers know that you want to start collaborating with them more. For instance, if you do proposals, you can do the first draft, and then your customer help you improve it.

If you are part of a team that has each others’ backs, that spends time together developing strategy and building skills, that understands and lives your core values, and that promotes tribal behaviour, you’re on the right track.

Nicki Weiss -
	Nicki Weiss is the founder of SalesWise , a Toronto-based sales coaching and sales management training company. Nicki is a certified sales management coach, master training and seminar leader. Subscribe to her free e-newsletter filled with fantastic tips that will drive more revenue at www.saleswise.ca This article may be reprinted in its entirety with express written permission from Nicki Weiss. The reprint must include the section “About the Author”. Read More >>
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