Picture this. You’re having a coffee with a friend. After a few minutes, an acquaintance of your friend walks in. He comes over to your table, says “Hi” to your friend, and you get introduced. Then he sits down to chat with both of you. After you finish talking about the weather the inevitable question comes up: “So, what do you do?” You’ve got 60 seconds. Go!

Typically, there are three ways that people answer this question: If the best you can muster is sales manager or sales rep (or whatever is written on your business card), you are using the most boring of the various answers you can offer—and you’ve just blown an opportunity to find your next client or get a referral. Reading your job title and company name off your business card is about as engaging as reading a list of ingredients off the side of a soup can.

The second way that people respond is with a phrase that they’ve developed for exactly this situation. Or perhaps they’ve memorized their positioning statement. Here’s a typical formula: “We help (target group) achieve (obvious benefit) by (activity) so that they can (ultimate outcome).”

Answer “What do you do?” with a memorized phrase is formula-based, rehearsed, contrived, and—face it—boring. And your positioning statement may be clever and clear, but you might as well have a loud, flashing neon sign above your head that’s screaming, “sales pitch!”

Finally, the third way that people answer the question, “What do you do?” If you’ve ever gone to a networking event—the kind where everybody sitting at the lunch or networking table gets a turn to describe their business—chances are you’ve heard it dozens of times. You know when one person is going on and on about what they do, and everyone around the networking table politely tunes out or stares at the person’s business card.

I call it the “drunken, barroom brawl” technique because it looks like a bad fight scene in an old cowboy movie. The person at the networking table throws out a series of disconnected statements, like a drunk in the saloon who keeps swinging punches in the hope that one of them will connect. And, if that’s how you answer the question “what do you do?” then you, too, have just blown an opportunity to find your next client or get a referral.

Start with your essential message

Instead of trying to come up with a clever phrase that you hope will engage the other person in a conversation, ask yourself this: “What can I say that will make the other person want to engage me?”

It all starts with a provocative question. This pinpoints a problem or a symptom of a problem that the other person has. Here’s an example. When someone asks me what I do, I often answer back with a provocative question like this: “Well, let me ask you a question. When you go to a networking event or when you have to introduce yourself in public, how confident are you with the way you describe your business?”

In that moment, I have engaged the other person’s interest by presenting what I do in a way that’s personally meaningful to him or her. Then, what generally ensues is a conversation about the sales and marketing challenges they have and how I can help. That’s my Essential Message.

By using your Essential Message you get people’s attention more easily. You know what truly differentiates your business from competitors. You are absolutely confident about the value you offer. Most importantly, you communicate it naturally and conversationally - there’s no hard sell.

In sales, as in courtship, think baby steps. You’re not trying to tell your entire story, nor are you even trying to get the most important points out of your mouth first. All you want to accomplish is to elicit interest from the other person, to have that person say, “tell me more.”
Simple as it may seem, everything truly does start with a conversation.