How can you ensure that you approach people and communicate with them in the most appropriate way?

“Knowing About Social Styles”, developed by Merrill and Reid, is very useful. In the Social Styles Model there are four basic “styles” or preferred ways of interacting with others.

Merrill and Reid believe that a person’s Social Style is a way of coping with others. People become most comfortable with that style, in themselves and others. Understanding your own style and those of others can help in making meetings more productive: The main objective of Social Styles is to help people to develop versatility in dealing with others.

A person’s Social Style is measured in relation to three behavioural dimensions:

• Assertiveness
• Responsiveness
• Versatility

The Assertiveness Scale:

Measures the degree to which a person is seen as attempting to influence the thoughts, decisions or actions of others either directly by “tell” behaviour or by questioning, i.e. “ask” behaviour.

Tell Behaviour: Is risk-taking, fast-paced, challenging.

Ask Behaviour: Is co-operative, deliberate actions, minimising risks.

The Responsiveness Scale:

Measures the degree to which a person either openly expresses their feelings or controls their feelings. The ends of the scale are “control” and “emote”.

Control Behaviour: Is disciplined, serious, and cool.

Emote Behaviour: Is relationship oriented, open, and warm.

The two scales combine to give a two-dimensional model of behaviour, which will help you to understand how others perceive you. The dimensions of behaviour will also help you to plan how you can deal more effectively with people of different Social Styles.

My Social Style:

A very simple way of identifying your Social Style is to copy the dimensions of the behaviour model below onto a number of pieces of paper. Now ask people who know you well, to plot your behaviour as they see it. Explain the two axes to them and then ask them to put a cross, first on the horizontal scale and then on the vertical scale. Try not to influence their decision, better still ask them to do it anonymously.

If you have a majority of crosses on “control”and “ask” then your behaviour is seen as Analytical. But if the majority are on “control” and “tell” then you are seen as a Driver.

If you are “emote” and “ask” then you are seen as an Amiable. “emote” and “tell” as an Expressive.

The Social Styles Model:

By knowing about your own Social Style and recognising Social Styles in others you can improve the effectiveness of your meetings with others.

Characteristics of Each Social Style:

Analyticals
• Concerned with being organised, having all the facts and being careful before taking action.
• Need is to be accurate and to be right.
• Precise, orderly, methodical and conform to standard operating procedures, organisational rules and historical ways of doing things.
• Have a slow reaction time and work more slowly and carefully than Drivers.
• Perceived as serious, industrious, persistent, and exacting.
• Are task oriented.
• Use facts and data.
• Tend to speak slowly.
• Lean back and use their hands frequently.
• Do not make direct eye contact.
• Control their facial expressions.
• Others may see them as stuffy, indecisive, critical, picky and moralistic.
• Comfortable in positions in which they can check facts and figures and be sure they are right.
• Neat/well organised offices.
• In times of stress, analyticals tend to avoid conflict.

Amiables
• Need co-operation, personal security and acceptance.
• Uncomfortable with and will avoid conflict.
• Value personal relationships, helping others, and being liked.
• Some amiables will sacrifice their own desires to win approval from others.
• Prefer to work with other people in a team effort, rather than individually.
• Have an unhurried reaction time and little concern with effecting change.
• Friendly, supportive, respectful, willing, dependable, and agreeable.
• Are people-oriented.
• Use opinions rather than facts and data. Speak slowing and softly.
• Use more vocal inflection than Drivers or Analyticals.
• Lean back while talking and do not make direct eye contact.
• Have a casual posture and an animated expression.
• Perceived by other styles as conforming, unsure, pliable, dependent and awkward.
• “Homely” offices – family photographs, plants etc.
• An Amiable’s reactions to stress are to comply with others.

Drivers
• Action and goal oriented.
• Need to see results.
• Have a quick reaction time, decisive, independent, disciplined, practical and efficient.
• Use facts and data.
• Speak and act quickly.
• Lean forward, point and make direct eye contact.
• Body posture is rigid.
• Controlled facial expressions.
• Do not want to waste time on personal talk or preliminaries and can be perceived by other styles as dominating or harsh and severe in pursuit of a goal.
• Comfortable in positions of power and control.
• Businesslike offices with certificates and commendations on the wall.
• In times of stress, drivers may become autocratic.

Expressives
• Enjoy involvement, excitement, and interpersonal action.
• Are sociable, stimulating, enthusiastic and are good at involving and motivating others.
• Ideas oriented.
• Have little concern for routine and are future oriented.
• Have a quick reaction time.
• Need to be accepted by others.
• Tend to be spontaneous, outgoing, energetic, and friendly.
• Focused on people rather than on tasks.
• Use opinions and stories rather than facts and data.
• Speak and act quickly; vary vocal inflection.
• Lean forward, point, and make direct eye contact.
• Use their hands when talking.
• Have a relaxed body posture and an animated expression. Their feelings often show in their faces.
• Perceived by others as excitable, impulsive, undisciplined, dramatic, manipulative, ambitious, overly reactive and egotistical.
• Disorganised offices may have leisure equipment like golf clubs or tennis racquets.
• Under stressful conditions, Expressives tend to resort to personal attack.

Versatility – Making Social Styles Work For You

First of all it is important to recognise that, there is no best style. Merrill and Reid found that around 25% of the adult population belonged to each Social Style. They also found people from each Social Style at all levels within organisations.

The third dimension and the key to using Social Styles is versatility. Statistically around a quarter of the population have a similar Social Style to yours and so you will find that you are naturally comfortable with them.

Some people are naturally very versatile and are able to adapt easily to the needs of other people; others are less so. By developing your versatility skills, you will be able to relate effectively with a greater number of people.

The people, whom you probably find it most difficult to relate to naturally, are your “diagonal opposites” on the matrix. Study the characteristics of your “diagonally opposite” Social Style.

Three Final Golden Rules

• Person 1 is not person 2– We are all different and individual.
• Person 1 today is different from person 1 tomorrow– We all have our moods.
• Etc.– We can never know everything about a person or situation.