Some people can't tell a lie, others can't tell the truth and unfortunately, most people can't tell the difference. Can you tell when someone is pulling the wool over your eyes? Whether you're an attorney selecting a jury, a manager interviewing a new agent or a salesperson making a presentation, your ability to quickly and accurately discern the truth greatly enhances your effectiveness. Fortunately, having the ability to sort fact from fiction is an important communication skill that can be learned.
Aside from con men, compulsive liars and some politicians, most people
become uncomfortable when telling a lie and transmit their deceitful
behavior through their body language. While they may sound convincing,
their gestures speak louder than their words. Consequently, they reveal
their deceit nonverbally. While it's not always easy to spot deceptive
behavior, there are many subtle yet discernable clues to the trained
eye.
Body language is a mixture of movement, posture and tone of voice.
Studies show that nonverbal communication has a much greater impact and
reliability than the spoken word. Therefore, if a person's words are
incongruent with his or her body language gestures, you would be wise
to rely on the body language as a more accurate reflection of their
true feelings. During the selling process it's important to remember
that body language is not a one-way street. While you're evaluating
your prospect's body language for signs of honesty and credibility, he
or she is subconsciously observing and reacting to your gestures as
well.
Some People Can't Handle the Truth
The truth sometimes hurts
and few business or personal relationships could survive the harsh
reality of total honesty. While honesty is certainly the best policy,
the truth is, that in our day-to-day encounters, it's not always
diplomatic or socially acceptable to be completely honest. To spare the
feelings of others, we have learned the usefulness of telling
half-truths, fibs and white lies.
During the selling process, some people have difficulty saying “no”
and will actually tell you that they are interested in order to avoid
potential conflict. As the pressure of making a decision builds,
prospects will frequently use half-truths or lies to either stall or
disengage from the selling sequence. While their words say “yes,” their
body language indicates “no.” By being able to recognize the
inconsistency between your prospect's words and his or her gestures, it
is often possible to flush out their concerns, overcome their
objections and make the sale.
See No Evil - Hear No Evil - Speak No Evil
Eye, nose and
mouth movement, along with hand gestures, are the four major nonverbal
cues typically associated with lying. The statue of the Three Wise
Monkeys accurately depicts the primary hand-to-face gestures associated
with deceit. When a person is doubtful or lying, they'll often use
their fingers to block their mouth as if they were filtering their
words. This hand- to-mouth gesture is commonly referred to as “speak no
evil.” The second hand gesture associated with deceit is called “see no
evil,” and it occurs when a person rubs or touches his or her eye(s).
The third hand gesture “hear no evil” is displayed when a person covers
or drills a finger into his or her ear(s).
If people use one of these gestures while they're talking, it
indicates that they are being deceitful. On the other hand, if they are
displaying one of these gestures while someone else is talking it
indicates that they doubt the truthfulness of what is being said. These
three gestures should be considered red flags. When you encounter one
of these gestures during your presentation, it is a good idea to gently
probe the subject matter with open-ended questions to encourage your
prospect to voice his or her concern.
In addition to the three hand-to-face gestures, eye movement is
another reliable indication of deceit. It's normal for a person to look
up to his or her left when thinking about the past and up to the right
when thinking about the future. If you ask a person a question from his
or her past and they look up to their right, they're making up a
response. Law enforcement personnel and customs agents are trained to
routinely monitor eye movement during interviews.
Micro Gestures
According to Paul Ekman, professor of
psychology at the University of California, San Francisco, two of the
most common micro gestures that are associated with deceit are the nose
wrinkle and the mouth curl. The nose wrinkle is the same gesture that
occurs naturally when you smell something offensive. The other facial
micro gesture is a slight downward curl of the corners of the mouth.
Even liars who make a conscious effort to suppress all of their major
body gestures, will still transmit micro gestures. People sometimes
lie, but their body language always tells the truth!
|