Client resistance is one of the most difficult aspects of selling for sales people and their managers, but learning new skills to handle it can lead to big payoffs in building lost-lasting and rewarding relationships. Resistance is sometimes not obvious and can appear in many subtle and not-so-subtle forms. Here are a few:

The client:

Resistance doesn’t always happen, but when it does, it is puzzling and frustrating for reps. Many of us end up thinking the client is just stubborn and irrational, and we can only cope by presenting information and justifying recommendations more loudly and more forcibly.

The key to understanding the nature of resistance is to realize that it is not a logical or rational reflection of the conversation you are having with the client. It is an emotional reaction inside the client against either the process of being helped or against the need to face up to tough organizational or personal challenges.

Resistance is so difficult to deal with because it can make us feel attacked, backed into a corner and helpless as to how to respond. It is lethal because the client is indirectly expressing a concern or discomfort. And it is very difficult for you to figure out what is going on when someone responds with an indirect, coded message.

Indirect expression: “Let me think about it and get back to you.”

How to Effectively Respond To Resistance

The way out of resistance is to help clients express, directly in words, their negative feelings. When clients are direct, you will feel much more supportive of their struggles. Here’s an easy and powerful model to help your discussion become more authentic.

Step One: Name the Resistance

When you become aware a client is being resistant, first name it , using neutral, everyday language. The skill is to describe the resistance in a way that encourages the client to make a more direct statement of the reservation he or she is feeling.

Here are some examples:

Step Two: Ask “What is your concern?”

This question will help the client tell you directly what is on his or her mind.

Step Three: Be quiet Give the client space to respond.

After naming the resistance, it is tempting for a salesperson to keep talking to reduce the tension of confronting the client. Live with the discomfort and remain silent. This space gives the client a chance to respond.

Step Four: Don’t take the resistance personally

Remember that your client’s behaviour is not a reflection on you, and you don’t have to spend time analyzing what you did wrong.

If you must take the client’s reaction personally, the rule is to do it after 6 p.m. on your own time. Spend the whole night at it and involve your friends. But don’t take resistance personally when you are with the client. Be curious, not defensive about their responses, as in, “I notice you disagree with all my suggestions. What’s your concern?”

When you deny client resistance, his or her behaviour can escalate and turn up in a nastier form later in your dealings. Finding the courage to notice and name client resistance will create a positive environment where your clients learn to trust you and want to keep buying from you.